Community:Church of the Dark Star/Sermons/20160820 Chaos Being Scared

Sermon Information

Date	August 20, 2016
Topic	"Being Scared"
Location	PaxLair
Belief	Chaos
Speaker	Amber Raine
Audio	No
Audio URL	N/A

"Being Scared", from the perspective of the Chaos Belief, presented by Amber Raine

Today i would like to thank Winfield for the subject at hand.. It has been a joy having you as part of the counsel Danellosi mellonamin, Bienvenue tout la monde, Good Morning and Blessed be friends and family. We welcome you once again to the Church of the Dark Star.

This morning we are going to discuss fears. The act of being scared and having those fears hold you back from giving yourself a truly remarkable life that you deserve. You tell yourself "But I am scared to do this" and I shall ask you why? Why are you scared to do it? What is keeping you from making the changes in your life that you feel would help make it better

So, what about these fears I keep hearing about? And trust me, your not alone. This past week for me there have been some things I have been also fearing. Then I look at it, and I ask "Why am

I believe fear gets way to much airplay. I truly believe that people don't take action, or the actions that they truly should because they have too much fear holding them back. I think the word fear is so common in our language, and the concept "I am just too scared to do it" is almost to the point where it's comedic. If we sincerely sit back and think about it, it really is kind of funny. Take a couple seconds right now and ask yourself "what am I scared of doing"

Now ask yourself, "Why am I scared of it?" In most cases you will notice your biggest fear is change. "I'm scared of doing this or that, because it is new, unknown, or might not be the right thing to do" Living in the world we do now, of the modern age. There is very few truly warranted impulsive fears that are driven by a physical reality to be safe. We're not being chased by animals that are trying to kill us often, right? Well unless your out hunting and then you need to worry about the kobolds, bandits or bears but, in general, this just is not a world any longer where that is a common.

So most of the fears that we actually have are just native contemplative thoughts that we're rerunning too often and we're associating so much pain to that now it just becomes convenient. Oh its fear, as if fear is some big unknowable scary awful thing. Well mostly, it's not. Most fear is just bad management of our own mental faculties. It's not an impulsive physical thing generating in our brain telling us to fight, flight or flee. And everyone wants to use that excuse. We still have all these biological psychologists or people running around saying well it's just an impulsive thing that people can understand or can be concious of. "It's the unconcious fears. It's just wiping us out! "

Seriously? It is time to just get over it. Science has shown we have much more powerful capabilities then most of us think that we do and the reality is.. Most fear, once you understand what it actually is. And, it usually is a contemplative process. Once you understand what it is, you can overcome it. So what is it then? I mean what is fear? What are we so scared of? What's going to hurt us? What is this thing that we fear is going to bring so much pain in our lives? Ever thought about that? What is it? What is the thing that we're so scared of that is going to bring in all the pain to our lives?

I remember figuring this out for my self and when I did, I wasn't so scared anymore. Because sometimes the things once you understand them more, they are not so terrifying. When something becomes knowable you can develop competency around it. Once you can develop competency around it then you can develop confidence around it. There is this old thing in psychology we call the competence confidence loop. The more you understand something the more confidence you have in that area. Same thing with anything that does happen to impulsively generate some fear in yourself. Well now once you understand what it is, you can deal with it better.

What we are all fearing is basically three types of pain, three areas that we might experience pain in our lives and once we understand that we can reorient our mindset around those things and no longer be frustrated or stopped by fear. The first thing that we fear pain in, in our lives is what i call "loss pain". Loss pain says "Well if i change my life or I do this new thing, I will experience loss. And because I will experience loss, I don't want to do it." With loss pain you are too scared to try it because you might lose something that you like. you care for, you adore. If you go and make that big change in your life, you might lose your job, you might lose your relationship, you might lose your connection with your kids, may lose a passion, may lose a benefit.

I had a situation just here recently where big changes needed to be done in my business, some of you may have been hearing some of the ramifications of those changes. Especially if you have noticed a lot more community music played on Avatars Radio. Well I knew the change had to been made for months, I would say almost a year. But it wasn't until recent events that forced me to face the fear of making that change that it was done. Before that, everyone was generating all this fear in me by saying things like "well be careful you know things could get really messy. You could break something, it might not work the same way again. People are going to go away because they don't want to wait until you reset up what needs to be set up" Or the others that were saying "not everyone is going to like or accept this fear. You may lose people listening to the station, you may lose support, worse yet, you may lose friends over it, who don't believe it needs to be done."

So I was faced with all this negative and thinking "I could lose all this security that I have, everything is working fine as it is, why do I need to change it." So there are all of these things that we think we need to worry about and be fearful of, and the reality of it is, while part of that was true.

As I thought more about the situation it turned out, I was concerned. I was fearful that I would lose my security, I would lose peoples interest even though community music rocks man, do you know how many talented people we have in this community? I would lose the nice process of having managers to kind of coach and consult me into higher levels of performance. I would lose friends, this is the one that really had me. I would lose friends over this change. I love my team mates. You think of all of these things that you are going to lose, so you don't make the decision to go through with what needs to be done. And that is what people do, they are fearing loss. So part of reorienting our lives is instead of focusing on the things that you're going to lose, start focusing on what your going to gain. hell of a change brother ;) Yea I might be sharing with the listeners all the music of the community for the short term. But in the long term, those community members are getting known, there will be more freedom later as more music is added to our library. I might lose that coaching and those friends who are going to develop me terms of that organizational structure but over on the other side I'm going to gain greater challanges. I am going to grow faster because I am going to have to be doing all the things And I am going to be doing all the things faster on my own. I will also be gaining a new skillset, more knowledge in doing something I Had left others to do instead.

So yes, focusing on those gains. See what happens in the fearful mind, it starts asking the question of "what if?" and it follows that phrase with a negatively stated response. "what if, this terrible thing happens?", "what if, *this* terrible thing happens?", "what if **this** terrible thing happens?" And we continue letting those generate and we stew within our gut these acids and these fears that literally trick our minds into thinking we can't change. But, once you realize that "loss pain" is what you are dealing with and start focusing more on the things that you will gain, then your getting over a hurdle.

The second thing that we fear so much is what i call "process pain". Process change says "changing anything is going to be hard". The process of change its self is hard. Let alone what we will lose doing something new is hard. When I sat down and realized that this change to the station was something that really needed to happen, I was terrified. I was like "this is going to be far too hard, I don't know the first thing about any of this. I don't have any compency in setting up servers or making it function automatically. I don't have time to sit there and be the automatic player that DJ otto is." "I am going to have to work on this 24-7 and kiss everything I had stable under me goodbye. I am going to have to start all over from ground up as if it was January 2014 again." My biggest process loss statement was "I am not going to get any support or help. Everything I thought I could depend on is going to walk out on me and I am going to be left to do this all by myself." The process is scary so we don't change. But part of the mastery of life is learning to see change as a game. Learning to see challenges as something that we can joyously enter to become the joyous master in the processes of our lives.

To understand that yes they might be challenging but challenge is good. Challenge will develop us, challenge will help us reach our highest potential. Challenge will help us live that fully charged life. That process can be engaging and fun and exciting and new. It can bring variety and spice into our lives. We can look forward to the process of change. And when we switch our mind that way. We start to change more often.

The third thing that most people are actually fearing is what I call "outcome pain". They are scared of the "What if I lose all these things in changing" "What if I go through all this terrifying difficult work and then, the grass is not purple! The outcome is no better then I had at the very beginning. " I was terrified with that in these changes too. I thought "what if I begin this process and I do all these things, and I lose all the people that told me not to do it, and I work my butt off, but I don't make it. Nothing is better, nothing is different. I don't grow as fast. What if while I am doing all this, instead of fixing things, I destroy everything." What if - in the other moon tower, it isn't any better? That is what so many people do, they sit and they think, "what if it's not better and I just went through all that pain, for nothing." And if we are stuck there thinking that way, we never change. So part of the maturity and the master of life is realizing also that instead of focusing on the outcomes that are negative, we can start thinking and dreaming and visualizing and really giving our attention, our focus and powers of attraction into those things that would be powerful and good and satisfying, fulfilling, happy, joyous, on the other side of the fence. The things that would turn out to be wonderful and magnificent if we make the changes we need to instead of fearing them.

You start thinking about all of the things that will be positive from that change and when you do that, you start to master your mind and direct it better Because you know what. When you're obsessing about loss pain, process pain and outcome pain, guess what? The more you focus on those the more you obsess about those types of pains Your brain and your body go "no!Don't do that! I don't want to experience that because we built and have been gifted with this incredible contraption here that is unbelievably driven to avoid pain." When we realize that, then we have to stop suffering and stewing in our mind about the pain we might experience if we do the very things that would improve our lives. You and I all know what would improve our lives, why aren't we doing it? Because somewhere there we've probably associated a lot of loss, process or outcome pain to it. So here is my challenge for all of you. Sit down and ask yourself "what do I really want in my life? Why have I not been progressing faster?" When You start exploring that question why have I not been progressing faster, you might discover loss, process and pain. So just flip it now and focus on the gains, the joys, and the positive outcome And when you start to do that you'll find yourself being that joyous master, you'll find yourself getting further ahead in life, and you might just find that life can feel fully charged once again

The server, the changes. Yes the fears were there for all three, loss, process and outcome. Yes some of those fears came true and the pain is something my heart may hurt for a while because of. But I can tell you, in the end. I was and still am having fun with it. I am learning new things that I may have never learned before. I am putting things in a direction I only dreamed about. Yes, its taking time. More time then I thought it would. But it has made something old, shiny and new again as I experience different aspects of it I never even realized could be done. And with all that as it is said and done. I will be able to stand up and say "I am a better person for it. Even if this all falls apart and dies. I am a better person because of it. I would have never grown, never gotten the knowledge, the understanding, the answers, if i didn't do this." Chaos ia about change, not staying the same. Sometimes that change is going to hurt, sometimes that change is going to be an amazing blessing.

But that is why we walk the multiple pathes we do. What ever comes, good, bad or indifferent. Anything is possible, everything is possible, and yes... even sometimes.. nothing is possible. But we won't know unless we try, and we won't try until we flip it all in a different direction then how we are currently looking at it. There is a positive in every negative. You just need to flip it around.

I want todays teaching to give you a better understanding. That we can recieve all the good things that are in store for us. But we can also recieve the bad things keeping us from those good things, because of fear. So put your faith in yourself and turn around and look at everything from another direction. You are not meant to be tormented by fear or anything else. Nor should you be held back from your destiny, what ever that may be.

May the shadows of night keep and protect you always.

Thank you. All yours brother.